Learning about myself

If i had to retroactively pick a theme for this year it would be "self discovery". I feel like this has been the first time in a very long time that I've been able to get my brain out of survival mode, and actually focus on myself a bit. It has definitely been scary. And there have been a few occasions we're I've stumbled and put myself back in that survival mindset again. But, I think I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and have finally got the clearest sense of "Self" I've had in years.

That's what's reinvigorated me to start working on this website again. I have been journaling for a little while now and that has been good to have something just for me. But I also wanted this blog to serve a different purpose. Partly just shouting into the void but also as kind of a statement that I want to be seen and perceived now. I used to hate the idea of being perceived by others and would attempt to hide myself away as much as possible. But now, after everything that's happened in the last year of managed to develop a lot more self confidence and have learned to be comfortable with and sometimes even want people looking at me. I don't know if this is stupid and ramble, it's mostly just been a self reflective chain of thought.

I've definitely got a long way to go... but I'll work it out.